This old town's filled with sin

Overheard:

Person 1: Yeah, it's funny, if you ask for something they give it to you!
Person 2: That's all this town is!

This town? What are you, Mark Leibovich?

Hot Property!

Thoughts on the weekend ahead:

-73 degrees F ought to be nice. I'll count each of them as a blessing.

-I should try to live in the present a little more, and not think about next weekend on Monday.

-The rain will stop eventually, won't it?

-There are a great many things to live for in the world. Warm spring weekends are one of them, though not the most important one at the moment.

-I'm winking at myself. A private joke.

The sum of all cardinals of the kremlin

Were I a character in a Tom Clancy novel right now, one of my fellow characters would tell me "You look like hell, Jack." and proceed to fix me a pot of Navy coffee with a pinch of salt.

better off in two year stretches

Q: Why don't you buy a woman a watch?

A: Because there's a clock on the stove!

Hey, I didn't say it, Charles Barkley did.

little game that I made up

Little joke I thought of recently:

Q: What do you call it when two organic elements go out for a drink?

A: Carbon Dating! (Insert Catch Phrase)