Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i' the middle on's face?

So I went down to my local Barnes and Noble BOOKSELLERS to do a little browsing. I meandered over to the fiction section and made my selection, Jonathan Franzen's latest. I was about to just walk out the door without paying when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder.

It was the hand of Toby Keith.

Toby Keith, clear as day. Toby Keith, wearing a Barnes and Noble-branded cowboy hat, was standing right behind me. He pointed to the near end of the store.

His voice rang out clear and true: Cash register's that way, old hoss. Best pay up. And always remember,

Freedom isn't free

Multi-typing-tasking

Shout out to all my ipad people!

Sent from my ipad, easier to type on than i thought, but it seemz like the apple store employees are judging me, as i'm using them for free internet access

Parentheses

I have literally been busy lately. Not like everyone who always says 'I've been busy', no, I have actually been rather busy. It is an unaccustomed feeling, like scoring a goal, or writing a timely and relevant blog post. I haven't even had time to see what all my mates are up to on Twitter, Facebook, Last.fm, the blogosphere; the whole social media universe! Will the cogs of these virtual worlds continue to grind on without my presence and peripheral insight? Only time can tell!

Voici

I want to collaborate with people.

For the French, the word collaborate must be politically charged, even now.

I had conjured an image for Maréchal Pétain, that perhaps his experience in World War I had scarred him so much, he had been cut so deeply that he felt it necessary to take any and all measures as to be totally insured against another war as senseless as the first one. I'm mostly sure now that I was mistaken. Pétain was, from all appearances a petty junior Fascist, who was eager for the appurtenances of power. I want to know more, but this is the summary judgement.

Rambling again

I've made a huge mistake, find myself being drawn intractably into maw of a terrifying, uncomprehending bureaucracy whose only end is to perpetuate itself profitably. Don't assume that profit is valued over perpetuation.

* * * * *

How can you ever hope to produce something great when the way you conduct your business is so narrow-minded? We are looking for cogs, not people, and we will gladly numb your personhood into nothing if you yearn to be a cog, find your place, catch the same notch on another cog, again and again in increasingly arcane shades of meaninglessness. You will take consolation in HAVING BEEN OF SERVICE.

KoS installment 4

"I know of only one way to walk," she declaimed lustily, "And that's with my feet on the clouds, and my head in the ground, as if I were an ostrich."

Purported Russian proverb

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory


but I've also heard


Don't divide the skin of the bear before it's killed

those Russians and their beets and their clever proverbs

Break out the red pantsuits: it's State of the Union time!

-How can you sell a wildly unnecessary punctuation mark? I really wish this was a sick joke, but as far as I know, it's not

-Say what you want about him, but Adam Carolla is a funny man, and a talented talker

-I measure my workouts in sweat, and little else

-Seems that more often than not, the anticipation's better than the real thing

-Being able to make a living from writing seems a long way from here

-A lot of people couldn't support themselves on the money I make now, or even twice the money I make now. I guess it's easier when you're young. You don't have a life's worth of obligations to pay for. Children, mortgages, new cars, medicine, it all adds up

-It must be some kind of natural instinct for people to always find something to complain about. You couldn't find a person in the world who doesn't have a complaint. Just ask Tiger Woods

-People want Barack Obama to fix the country with a snap of his fingers. That expectation may be partly his fault due to the message he campaigned on, but still, it's not that easy, for anyone, even Barack Obama. Give the guy some time for Pete's sake! The only person who got less time than Obama was Conan O'Brien

-One of my number one priorities for the rest of my life is to never have to take prescription drugs

-As far as going to the gym goes, I am firmly on the wagon. I could see myself hitting a wall in the next month or so, but right now, it's smooth sailing

-Beware the escape-goat!

-Yes it's the T's fault for running inefficiently and slowly, but it's also your own fault for not leaving a healthy margin of T error-time

-Barack is delivering one heck of a speech tonight

I was so in shock my heart went down south

We're Christmas veterans

John McEnroe has no shame, and you wouldn't either if you were him

The Radio Shack commercial with Biz Markie? Takes cringing to a new level. It almost physically hurts me to see that crap. Who thought of this? Who? I want names and addresses. It is so unfair that the people who made this monstrosity have cushy advertising jobs and get paid. I can write a commercial twice as good for half the money. No kidding. This is the spot. It's beyond awful. Don't watch it, you might be hurt. Yeah we get it, Biz Markie had a hit song a long time ago and he badly needs some money. You don't have to hit me over the head with it, Radio Shack. And the part that kills me is that ad industry people are patting themselves on the back about the spot here. Could you be anymore out of touch? Please, someone justify this thing to me. I am dumbstruck.

x

every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main

You wonder where these things are headed.

I cannot for the life of me understand how people are so easily duped. They want to be duped, possibly. I have a hard time writing coherently. Down with adjectives.

Nonsense.
The Jersey Shore. What's that all about?

It would be nearly impossible for me to be less worried. Just wanted you to know.

That's what matters most.

Again, nonsense.

Grow Fins, Turkey

Manny did steroids? This must be a joke. That's probably the last name I would have expected to hear. Also, I have a hard time believing the excuse that the alleged Human chorionic gonadotropin was prescribed by the good old family doctor. What, Manny couldn't get pregnant? Maybe that's because he lacks a uterus. Take all the fertility drugs you want, you still won't end up with a bun in the oven.

Yes, I am declaring Manny guilty based on little or no evidence. He's guilty. The question is, why? I don't care to explore that in this space. I'm a bad blogger. So sue me. It's a blog. It means very little.

I haven't read this yet, but Simmons is always good.