Walking with a ghost

Slept downstairs to stay out of the heat. The basement is full of shadows and has no doors. I kept imagining a ghost who would walk in. I looked for it, anticipated. It never came. I scared myself.

Creation Myth

Flour + Water + Yeast comes alive.

I gave myself a minor coughing fit by putting cayenne pepper into boiling water and inhaling the vapors.


Wholesome things bring more joy than grocery store cellophane sweets.



We'll need onions, honey, tea, and applesauce.


Early Saturday morning is all potential and sometimes it gets realized.

Early August Heat

-An overactive icemaker that can be heard for miles around
-The bottom drawer of the fridge freezes everything you give it on account of a vent that circulates air between the freezer and fridge compartments
-Getting used to (a new set of) other people's kitchen and cleaning habits
-Condo association regulations on the size of trashcans
-A little less space that is indisputably my own
-Violence Cormac McCarthy describes in minute detail that only seems to lead to more fastidiously explicated violence

DC Tap Water

Hot days make you want to stay inside, where the air moves artificially. Crumbs on a plate. Audio is my favorite. Newspapers pile up during the week. A giant pot of beans benefits from the addition of corn. End tables can be moved easily. A sandwich in a box reminds me of you last night at dinner. An undefeated person should think about not playing anymore.

And would you like me if I stayed forever young?

What do you call a Nikon that has trouble getting coverage in the mainstream media?
-Camera Obscura

Herman Cain and Abel - Am I to be my Godfather's Pizza deliveryman?

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a silverback gorilla?
-While they look exactly the same, the gorilla enjoys the respect of his peers

So they did a study recently to see if membership in the British Royal Family was statistically related to higher intelligence levels. Turns out the researchers were foiled by that time-honored maxim known to Psych 101 students everywhere: Coronation does not equal causation

I heard that Manchester City is thinking of splitting up its famous Togolese sibling midfield partnership (the Toures). They thought they had a transfer done in August, but all the pundits said it would be like sending Kolo to Newcastle

I heard that Facebook has a new avian mascot. Yeah, they're calling it the Mark Zuckerbird. So...I don't know what that's all about

Initialisms, among other things

I had a capacious thirst from having walked the streets of downtown Washington, D.C. for several hours. I bought a large, capacious bottle of Gatorade sports drink, which was in the process of trying to write itself out of existence by changing its name gradually but perceptibly to only 'G'. Why have for your product's name a recognizable, concrete thing when you could transition your "branding" to a meaningless abstraction? This was the question Gatorade had asked of itself and answered on its own, without assistance. It was in this way similar to the public radio distributor American Public Media, soon to become a trio of letters whose bond and claim to a corresponding meaning were irrevocably severed. This may not seem important, and yet it is. The fashion is for abstraction, high-mindedness without deeper meaning. Not that consumer products are an area from whence to derive a great deal of meaning, but it feels like we have started a car rolling down a hill without any plan on how to stop it. George Orwell said it best.

I dreamed you paid your dues in Canada

Random thoughts on Thursday evening:

-I'm quite familiar, from my train commute, with a very narrow swathe of Eastern Massachusetts. I'm quite familiar, from my whole life up to this point, with a much larger swathe of the same.

-If the world is fallin' down, it may as well crash with me.

-I've never completely understood the phenomenon of people hanging out in bars. It's cheaper to drink at home and you don't have to be surrounded by a crowd of sweaty strangers. No-brainer, right? Is it just that they make really good settings for sit-coms?

-Never knew until this year how good Brussels sprouts and plantains are. Where have you guys been all my life?

-Once you quit making excuses for yourself, losing weight is much easier. Obviously I'm young and it's easier for me than someone say 25 years older, but still, once you stop all the rationalizing and get into some good habits, losing weight isn't the hardest thing to do.

-I'm really not comfortable with people cursing out loud in public places. It's still so off-putting to me. Not that it offends me personally, but I'm offended on behalf of the sanctity of a public place. And embarrassed on behalf of the person doing the cursing. You really do come off looking like a fool when you do that. And I'm not a prude, but it is offensive. We have certain standards in our culture. When you go and curse all the time within earshot of the polite, reasonable people who are simply going about their business, you are breaking the rules and lowering the bar for everyone.

-Went for a fantastic run today at the Appleton Estate. Treadmills are very convenient and all, but they can't hold a candle to a nice hard run in the woods on a brisk spring day. This in spite of the heavy odor of manure.

-It's good to be alive.

You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

-Don't be afraid

-Portmanteaus can get ugly fast. Have you seen MANswers?

-Yourself or a body double like you

-I wouldn't say my mind is exactly fertile, but I do try to practice crop rotation and plant some legumes

-Evaporation doesn't get enough credit for the important role it plays in our lives

-The embodiment of death is the smiling, pink, chubby face of Glenn Beck

-B-R-E-V-I-T-Y

-We really shouldn't be afraid of anything that won't kill us

-I bet if I quit drinking I could drop 20 lbs. just like that

-It's the company you keep

-Ashton Kutcher was enthusiastic, and the writing was tight. Along with the Jon Hamm episode, best couple of SNLs in a long time

-It's a strange thrill to meet someone with whom you have a great many things in common. Like arriving at an oasis in the desert, which analogy I am almost completely unqualified to make

-The Room: beyond your wildest dreams of how bad a bad movie could be. Unspeakably bad

-"Dance with me, beneath the circuitry"

-Unattributed quotation

Break out the red pantsuits: it's State of the Union time!

-How can you sell a wildly unnecessary punctuation mark? I really wish this was a sick joke, but as far as I know, it's not

-Say what you want about him, but Adam Carolla is a funny man, and a talented talker

-I measure my workouts in sweat, and little else

-Seems that more often than not, the anticipation's better than the real thing

-Being able to make a living from writing seems a long way from here

-A lot of people couldn't support themselves on the money I make now, or even twice the money I make now. I guess it's easier when you're young. You don't have a life's worth of obligations to pay for. Children, mortgages, new cars, medicine, it all adds up

-It must be some kind of natural instinct for people to always find something to complain about. You couldn't find a person in the world who doesn't have a complaint. Just ask Tiger Woods

-People want Barack Obama to fix the country with a snap of his fingers. That expectation may be partly his fault due to the message he campaigned on, but still, it's not that easy, for anyone, even Barack Obama. Give the guy some time for Pete's sake! The only person who got less time than Obama was Conan O'Brien

-One of my number one priorities for the rest of my life is to never have to take prescription drugs

-As far as going to the gym goes, I am firmly on the wagon. I could see myself hitting a wall in the next month or so, but right now, it's smooth sailing

-Beware the escape-goat!

-Yes it's the T's fault for running inefficiently and slowly, but it's also your own fault for not leaving a healthy margin of T error-time

-Barack is delivering one heck of a speech tonight

Night moves

-JD heads for Morocco tomorrow. Kinda scary, but you have to be excited for him. The whole program seems tailor-made for him. I know he'll make the most of it. Good luck brother!

-Played pond hockey with the Krajeski brothers today. Good times all around, although the skates didn't fit perfectly, hadn't seen those guys in a while. I didn't completely embarrass myself in the puck department either.

-Sweet party Saturday evening, in spite of the weird mix of age groups and the excess drinking. We need to do this stuff more often.

-Thanks to people who have told me that they read the blog. Appreciate it.

-You can't spend your life being scared of everything. Go out and live.

-We played 'fax machine' this evening. Great game.

She'll tell you how I suffer

Today:

-encountered ms. F. in the train station, plans to meet later, news of too many children being birthed by our high-school classmates. It would appear that at least 5 of my classmates of 2004, probably more, have already had children. What is the world coming to? To what is the world coming? snicker

-Henry Miller is an amazing writer. He says what he means, it would appear. I like that. What more can you ask? He's not afraid to be vulgar, and he has no qualms about venting his spleen about any acquaintance, friend, lover, etc. The truth is paramount, although that's only true if you believe that the narrator is perfectly honest. Obviously he's not, but it still makes for a fantastic read.

-In other news, I have a problem with believing almost everything I read. Not so much with Henry Miller, because you know from the outset that you can't trust him, but with other things, like political arguments, or most any New Yorker piece. What do we know apart from what we read? It seems like at least half the things I know I learned from reading them, therefore I believe most of what I read, because it's a way to learn things.

-Make no mistake about it, though, Miller's Tropic of Cancer is quite dirty, unapologetically so. It's about Paris, and it's full of whores, pricks, chancres, and piss. When you read it, you feel as though you have to hide what you're reading from your neighbors on the train or bus, for fear that they might catch a glimpse of a particularly filthy passage and report you to the politeness police, or the ministry of truth.

-From the Boss: Your eyes get itchy in the wee, wee hours

Sun's just a red ball risin' over them refinery towers
Radio's jammed up with gospel stations
Lost souls callin' long distance salvation
Hey, mister deejay, won'tcha hear my last prayer?
Hey, ho, rock'n'roll, deliver me from nowhere

Majority sports ramblings

-First real snow storm waited until December. A sign of the shape of things to come?

-Two different Minnesota Vikings players arrested for driving over 100 mph within a week of each other. Ever heard of cruise control, guys? Set it on 70 mph, you're golden.

-Mark Mangino is nearly spherical, it seems.

-Brett Favre's childlike enthusiasm, unlike the swine flu, is not catching.

-It looks like the mime robber from television's Nip/Tuck is back!

-As Michael Jackson said: "And we gon' ride the boogie". What does that mean?

-Beginning both your first and last name with the letter J will get you far in life. Witness Johnny Jolly, Jimmy Jackson, Julio Jones, Jim Jefferies.

-MTV's Jersey Shore: Everything you hoped for, and more.

-The horoscope said my luck would turn today. Is that bad or good? I usually consider myself a pretty lucky guy.

-Please, no singing in television commercials. Please.

ramblings again?

* There is the mundane, there is the banal, and then there is the conversation on the T with an acquaintance from some previous phase of your life that you used to know and haven't talked to since. And then, in the next circle of hell below that is secondhand listening to one of these conversations that someone else is loudly carrying on.

* We should totally hang out some time!

* Have you considered, while eating, whether a juicy steak is worth the future high blood pressure and heart disease, and the attendant increase in healthcare costs overwhelming an already dangerously strained American healthcare system?

* Don't you just love looking for things to get angry about and rage at with righteous ire? Things like reality television. And righteously angry conservative television commentators who bemoan the rise of reality television.

* I never turn down the chance to have my back to a wall. It's just safer that way.

* A sausage is only a sausage, unless it's andouille. That stuff is spicy!

* The Journal of Economic Entomology: real or fake? That depends on how you feel about apiaries.

spackle

There are only two rackets in this town: the Canadian whiskey racket, the integrated information management business, and the illegal fur trade. I chose the latter, and I've been kicking myself ever since.

Amoto quaeramus seria ludo

Ramblings (customarily the crutch of the uninspired sportswriter)

-Considering all of the strange esoteric sub-groups and industries that have their own periodical, couldn't I one day hope to have my own?

-I cannot ridicule anyone for wearing a bandanna on their head since the death of David Foster Wallace. For all I know, that person could be DFW returned. Or Jesus, for that matter.

-Healthcare: something has to be done. This is not going to work long-term. Or short-term, for that matter.

-Writing down a menu plan is far more rewarding than you might imagine.

-Mice are crafty. Anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you vinyl siding for your house. You never have to paint it!