Pizza for breakfast

I like making pizza dough, at least I think I do, because it is inexact. Imprecision is allowable in its making. The product of the effort will be more yeasty, a little light on flour, more bubbly, too salty, or overly sweet, but the imperfections are expected in the homemade version. A wide breadth is allowed from Cook's Illustrated perfection to the time I mistakenly used self-rising biscuit flour, or topped it with American cheese. Mistakes in the recipe could even become a source of pride over time, with guests commenting on the particular twist that the cook accidentally gave to his now-specialty.

It also brings the joy of chemistry, melding unlike things in varying amounts of powders and liquids to produce a warm, pleasant, rising growing mass that is almost alive. The ball of dough is expanding as I write, softly inhaling and pushing upwards towards the kitchen towel ceiling. It's difficult to leave it alone for the time it needs to rise. I can't wait until the dough is ready to be eaten as pizza, but I cherish the process of putting it together and my central role in its parenting.

with my ear to the ceiling

/;.


first things first, always

dream a little dream of me

shouldn't i quit it with all the rhetorical questions?

the writer

over his shoulder gleamed the radically bald and goateed visage of trent dilfer, professional yes-man former pro athlete

as preston is my editor and my witness, i will not see this post through to its logical termination

not alone by choice, by myself only because i want to be

from her to eternity

Mass Bay 153, OK to go!

pewter pot

The audacity, really, of these train advertisements is what's appalling

intention

fatwa

it has none

lackluster

Mr. B— felt deep in his bones that Contador was a coward and Schleck had been wronged. His mind could never change on this point; it was as a closed book. This was his strength and greatest weakness: consistency.

....could only fumble at the expression "God helps them who help themselves."

cars shark-like, marauding more than driving...

Something Against You

So pub crawls are stupid, I just decided.

My lentils are refusing to cook easily.

The rain was welcome, but came down so hard that I was forced to close all the windows.

Bret Easton Ellis's second novel was much better than his first; also his second name is much more pretentious than his first and last names.

Amanda was sorely missed this week at the office.

We made the mistake of assuming there would only be one Market Basket in Wilmington; there were two in close proximity.

A luggage store would not have been my first choice to fill the vacant retail space.

The mustard contained VINEGAR, MUSTARD SEED, SALT, SPICES AND TURMERIC.

The purchase of spray starch was inspired by A.M. Homes.

Eyes on a sweet potato look alien and unfriendly.

Any whiff of cool air is welcome, whatever the source.

Müller looked 35 at 20 and scored 5 in '10.

.ﬡ

scribblings

-Bulgakov's life and how it informs the novel
-First paragraph of chapter 32
-Behemoth: absurd, droll
-Why Pilate is so tortured?
-Is Azazello, or even Woland, a sympathetic, likable character?
-What happened to Hella?
-The greed of the citizens -- witness Berlioz's uncle grab for the apt.
-Absurdity of Bengalsky: symbolic of enforced institutional stupidity of Soviet life
-Kinship of Pilate and Master? Tortured brilliance
-Meaning of Mark Ratkiller
-Why did the devil come to Moscow? A lark? To teach a lesson?

days go by, I don't know why

The ends of days have been better than the beginnings lately. I had this fear this morning, that I had no control. It was a dream that bled into the morning and threatened to destroy any chance of having a good day. Events were running their course without my input. I was an actor in the play of my life. The actor doesn't write the lines, or create the scenery, or direct the action. He is a puppet, moved by others and bent to their will.

It was frightening, and the terror I felt pressed down on me, clamoring to be heard to the exclusion of all other thoughts. Everything reminded me of my fear, that I would be passed by. A wave washed over me, and in it was everything I hold dear, racing over me, through me, and past me in a flash before I could grab hold of it. For the life of me, I couldn't make it right. I knew I shouldn't feel this way, and that I would feel fine later on, but the immediacy of it was the worst part. In that moment I could not escape, and it was an awful thing.

Something in the way of explanation, belated

A plowed field with little puddles in the furrows that overtop their banks, reminders of the deluge a week past. Like a memory of it but not the real thing. Sad in their way of reminding us of what's gone and can't come back.

An older man walking down a concrete path to his car in the company lot. Weathered blue jacket and work pants, he drives home to an empty house, falls asleep alone to wake tomorrow and go to work again.

The way the light falls on the train approaching sunset, slightly dulled yellow-orange, passes over it and makes shadows on the other side.

Empty streets in the dusk where no one goes. Open doors left open unattended and broken windows uncared for.

The open expanse of the harbor at Lynn, blue-black and soulless, looks like it goes on forever.

These things I saw from my window. They were sad, but didn't sadden me.

musing

There's nothing like the spring. Any other season, you can have it back. There's nothing like the spring.

And I was just thinking, you really shouldn't tell someone something because you think they want to hear it. It's a dirty trick. If you love a person, you need, and they need, for you to be able to tell them the truth.

strange abstractions that come out of my head from time to time

I'm not afraid to be myself. I guess that's the biggest thing. It feels like being free. It feels like I'm finally coming into my own, like I'm right where I ought to be. And maybe that means recognizing that there isn't anywhere in particular that you have to be, and that right where you are is just fine.

Feels great,

Affirmation.

ditto

He gathered the strength
in his hulking legs
High-school athlete, Saturday star
all triceps and sinew
he prepared for the moment of glory

Muscles tensed, gaze fixed on his object,
He grasped the carton and slung it heavily into the delivery truck

You are tearing me apart, Lisa!

-Don't be afraid

-Portmanteaus can get ugly fast. Have you seen MANswers?

-Yourself or a body double like you

-I wouldn't say my mind is exactly fertile, but I do try to practice crop rotation and plant some legumes

-Evaporation doesn't get enough credit for the important role it plays in our lives

-The embodiment of death is the smiling, pink, chubby face of Glenn Beck

-B-R-E-V-I-T-Y

-We really shouldn't be afraid of anything that won't kill us

-I bet if I quit drinking I could drop 20 lbs. just like that

-It's the company you keep

-Ashton Kutcher was enthusiastic, and the writing was tight. Along with the Jon Hamm episode, best couple of SNLs in a long time

-It's a strange thrill to meet someone with whom you have a great many things in common. Like arriving at an oasis in the desert, which analogy I am almost completely unqualified to make

-The Room: beyond your wildest dreams of how bad a bad movie could be. Unspeakably bad

-"Dance with me, beneath the circuitry"

-Unattributed quotation

la neige

Cold Boston parking lot decked out in 8 pm gloom. Broken glass and snow alike crunch crisply underfoot. The chill creeps in through warm sweaters and windbreakers, freezes nose-hairs in its frightful power. Power to kill without bias anyone who falls into its icy embrace.

Catering truck alone in an oasis of uncleared snow. Advertises warm Mediterranean delights that don't fit in this cold, cold night. The sea of shining black pavement expands ahead like the Atlantic, unbroken and vast.

It's the simple things

I checked in 271 issues today. Tomorrow I learn overrides.

I am a checkin fool.

Nice work if you can get it. Which I did.

Night moves

-JD heads for Morocco tomorrow. Kinda scary, but you have to be excited for him. The whole program seems tailor-made for him. I know he'll make the most of it. Good luck brother!

-Played pond hockey with the Krajeski brothers today. Good times all around, although the skates didn't fit perfectly, hadn't seen those guys in a while. I didn't completely embarrass myself in the puck department either.

-Sweet party Saturday evening, in spite of the weird mix of age groups and the excess drinking. We need to do this stuff more often.

-Thanks to people who have told me that they read the blog. Appreciate it.

-You can't spend your life being scared of everything. Go out and live.

-We played 'fax machine' this evening. Great game.