And would you like me if I stayed forever young?

What do you call a Nikon that has trouble getting coverage in the mainstream media?
-Camera Obscura

Herman Cain and Abel - Am I to be my Godfather's Pizza deliveryman?

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a silverback gorilla?
-While they look exactly the same, the gorilla enjoys the respect of his peers

So they did a study recently to see if membership in the British Royal Family was statistically related to higher intelligence levels. Turns out the researchers were foiled by that time-honored maxim known to Psych 101 students everywhere: Coronation does not equal causation

I heard that Manchester City is thinking of splitting up its famous Togolese sibling midfield partnership (the Toures). They thought they had a transfer done in August, but all the pundits said it would be like sending Kolo to Newcastle

I heard that Facebook has a new avian mascot. Yeah, they're calling it the Mark Zuckerbird. So...I don't know what that's all about

When I feel like a juggler runnin' out of hands

It will be written down on a piece of paper and shuffled on a desk, meaningfully shuffled, but shuffled, forgotten except in case of a persistent person who needs something from you. She will shuffle too, to the kitchen for a quick 30 minutes. Something in us that abhors work, so we feel entitled not to do it, even while they're paying us to be here. American workers, too smart for their own jobs. Fixing, scheming, faintly conniving always to get a little bit ahead. Of themselves, really. But what would be the fun in doing something you're perfectly well qualified for, or never lying a little about what you're able to do? I have told happy, ambitious lies to employers, or tried to get them to let me do so. I have made myself out to be a fully qualified professional copyeditor. I have overstated, drawn false analogies, and talked past my inadequacies. I'm no better than anyone else.

A more precise view of who the Santorum voter is

-French electronic music duo Justice
-Nat'l Fed. of Independent Bus. v. Sebelius
-Samuel Eliot Morison
-Beautifully overlapping styles of N. Krauss and J.S. Foer, spouses and novelists
-Confidence that wearing a vest affords
-Book club snobs
-Possibly overpaid community college professors
-"There's panic on the streets of Carlisle, Dublin, Dundee, Humberside."
-Quietest place in the house, a tiny back bathroom with one small window
-Circular tables are conducive to camaraderie
-Can one be coerced into commerce, constitutionally?
-SONG 1 at the Hirshhorn
-When someone says "Boo" to something, say, "Are you a ghost?"
-Supply of books is outpacing demand
-I only have eyes for you
-Doctor Faustus, A Novel by Thomas Mann
-Weekly church attendees

Benito Juarez's Birthday

206 years for him, 2 years for us. Better now than ever before. Enough said.

Dearth of Pronouns

Saw your words on my computer screen, late at night, and was reminded. Why I came to this place and why it was a victory, in and of itself. Decided to strive more, be something of significance. For the sake of you and I.

Ben-Hur

Wallace will outlive the war, but I will not. Early will write his memoirs, but I will not. The Georgetown Pike, after the covered bridge has burned, I will fall there not to rise again.

Pictures of Success

Colonel Truex brought me the order today. We are to decamp in a fortnight. Impending doom and damnation. And all of the whiskey is gone.

The adjutant had received word that few men could be spared from the siege of Petersburg. I would be relying on Ricketts' division, the thousand or so hundred-days' men that remained to me, and whatever of my wits I could muster. The whiskey was gone and not coming back.

Early would have his ransom.

Pizza for breakfast

I like making pizza dough, at least I think I do, because it is inexact. Imprecision is allowable in its making. The product of the effort will be more yeasty, a little light on flour, more bubbly, too salty, or overly sweet, but the imperfections are expected in the homemade version. A wide breadth is allowed from Cook's Illustrated perfection to the time I mistakenly used self-rising biscuit flour, or topped it with American cheese. Mistakes in the recipe could even become a source of pride over time, with guests commenting on the particular twist that the cook accidentally gave to his now-specialty.

It also brings the joy of chemistry, melding unlike things in varying amounts of powders and liquids to produce a warm, pleasant, rising growing mass that is almost alive. The ball of dough is expanding as I write, softly inhaling and pushing upwards towards the kitchen towel ceiling. It's difficult to leave it alone for the time it needs to rise. I can't wait until the dough is ready to be eaten as pizza, but I cherish the process of putting it together and my central role in its parenting.

Initialisms, among other things

I had a capacious thirst from having walked the streets of downtown Washington, D.C. for several hours. I bought a large, capacious bottle of Gatorade sports drink, which was in the process of trying to write itself out of existence by changing its name gradually but perceptibly to only 'G'. Why have for your product's name a recognizable, concrete thing when you could transition your "branding" to a meaningless abstraction? This was the question Gatorade had asked of itself and answered on its own, without assistance. It was in this way similar to the public radio distributor American Public Media, soon to become a trio of letters whose bond and claim to a corresponding meaning were irrevocably severed. This may not seem important, and yet it is. The fashion is for abstraction, high-mindedness without deeper meaning. Not that consumer products are an area from whence to derive a great deal of meaning, but it feels like we have started a car rolling down a hill without any plan on how to stop it. George Orwell said it best.