Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Hast Thou Considered The Tetra

Apparently Larry King jokes never get old

Except that they already are

Because Larry King is old

Which is the whole focus of the neverending torrent of jokes about him

Yeah, I get it, he's old. Enough

I love your majesty according to my bond; nor more nor less

Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score.

It's good advice. And every 'est' word is considered a mistake by spellcheck.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The fast-food chain doth protest too much, methinks

"I like not fair terms and a villain's mind"

The idea that McDonald's is trying to tell me what a real New Englander is, and how such a person feels, disgusts me on a level that I cannot express in words.

And by the way, fools, a real New Englander would never say the phrase "real New Englander". You sicken me with your pathetic attempts to connect to people. Your so-called restaurants are dehumanizing assembly lines for disgusting, nearly inedible food, which people only eat because it is cheap, and likely addictive. It is clear to any impartial observer that our society would be much better off without the influence and presence of McDonald's. Begone!

(Obviously I'm on some kind of little Shakespeare run here)

Time shall unfold what plighted cunning hides

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

And other assorted thoughts.

This means nothing.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The sum of all cardinals of the kremlin

Were I a character in a Tom Clancy novel right now, one of my fellow characters would tell me "You look like hell, Jack." and proceed to fix me a pot of Navy coffee with a pinch of salt.

My thoughts betray me

It strikes me that having the letter x twice in a name where it only belongs once betrays a lack of class. People who add the second x by choice are telegraphing their urgent need to get your attention. If they can't get your attention because of their talent, why not try a gimmick like adding a ridiculous second x to a name? If I see the second x, I assume low-rent, low-class.

Alexx Woods

Bubba Sparxxx

Alexxis Tyler

The only exception is Jimmie Foxx, who was a solid hitter, and who clearly didn't choose to add the second x.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall

Can a man's worth be measured by the number of times, while suspended and gripping a bar, he can use the muscles in his arms to pull his body's weight upwards and raise his chin above the level of the bar he is gripping?

I certainly hope not.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

walkin' in memphis (brighton)

The sensation of walking up to a 7 Eleven in Brighton in the evening. It is a shining city on a hill. The glow of the lights out onto the sidewalk. The lights are sterile halogen. Very easy to pretend you're in an indie movie with some garbled theme about alienation in modern society, where you'd be a character who goes to the 7 Eleven, stares glassy-eyed at things in the freezer section, shyly avoids conversation with checkout girl, walks home alone silently to silent alone apartment where you do something comedic, but also indicative of your loneliness and alienation. The light, the light!

Stop up the access and passage to remorse

I foresee a future state of the National Football League that is centered around injuries. The games take twice as long because there are multiple serious injuries on every play. The rosters are twice as large because of the need for replacements due to in-game attrition. There are several deaths due to injuries sustained in games every year, which, while bemoaned as tragic, are tolerated. The year? 2025.

It's not too far away from today's game. There is an upper limit on how big and fast football players can get before very serious injuries become more and more frequent, eventually leading to the first in-game death. It will happen, someday, and don't be surprised when it does.

Mark my words.

Monday, September 7, 2009


Hear cars swooping by on Harvard Ave. Feel tennis soreness in the right tricep from hitting wicked forehand winners yesterday. Perceive cool breeze of a Boston September night. Decompress and rest feet from standing all day.

Let it go.

Friday, September 4, 2009

extreme abstraction

I'm all about new beginnings. I have a harder time finishing things. But I think this move will work out for the best.

Time to get a new shower curtain.