Tuesday, July 7, 2009

If I don't see you soon I'll have to find another game to lose

Let's be clear here: I have no mercy in my heart to spare for people who go to baseball games, sit behind the plate, and get on the old cell phone so they can wave to their extended family and friends while talking to them on the phone. It's not limited to behind the plate, either, as now people down either baseline have figured out they'll be on TV when there's a close shot of a batter stepping out in between pitches. This still just ruins my television viewing experience. I know I should ignore it, I know that I should rise above it, but I simply can't. I am filled with unspeakable loathing, like a Huguenot who survived St. Bartholomew's Day.

I can't wrap my head around the mental processes of these people. Apparently they've never watched a game on television, or they would know how incredibly irritating it is to watch some grinning idiot waving to his buddies on the other end of a phone line. Often enough, you'll get the same person, apparently calling every single person he has ever met, going on through the entire 9 innings, phoning and waving, phoning and waving. Please, for the love of Pedroia, exercise some self restraint. You may call one person, and you may not wave at all, whatsoever, or you'll be ejected from the game. And family members can help too. If you get a call from one of these ballpark buffoons, threaten to disown and disinherit them forthwith if they do not hang up the phone and stop waving like a fool. If we all do our part, it's not too late to stop this inane phenomenon.

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